Tuesday, April 17, 2012

An Attack on Mothers

After all the drama the past week about Ann Romney not having worked a day in her life, and sharing my own opinion on Facebook of the matter, I was going to let this go. Let's move on.  But then, I saw this. http://nation.foxnews.com/roseanne-barr/2012/04/16/roseanne-barr-rips-ann-romney  and I KNEW I could not let this go.  Just when I think it couldn't get any worse after hearing the remarks from the very so called "funny" Bill Maher, Roseann Barr decided to join the ranks (although I think she has been there with them already) of the others who put down stay at home moms.

I do not consider this a war on women. I have never bought into any of that. I do not consider this a war on working mothers, and actually, I don't even really think it's a war on stay at home moms either.  I look at this as pure politics. I see one side of the isle a tad bit worried that the current president just may not get a second term, so lets just poke at whatever we can to distract from the real issues of this country.  (Maybe Roseann Barr was needing some attention, been a while since I've heard from her)  But then again, I have a feeling there are a few on that side who probably don't think that SOME stay at home moms can figure that kind of stuff out.

So to make things clear right up front:

1)  I am a stay at home mom, who works in the home, part time, helping my husband run his company, by doing the books.  I feel blessed to be in a circumstance that allows me to be able to stay home, although I do have responsibilities other than raising my children that I need to deal with during the day.

2)  Then there's the stay at home mom raising their children, as busy as can be, although there are many who would like to think they eat bon bons and watch soaps all day long. (Although that would be hard, since the soaps are disappearing from network television now).

3)  And then there's the wonderful mom, who for whatever reason, be it needing a second income, is divorced or widowed, or has chosen to do both roles as mom and have a career.

For whatever reason the third mom I mentioned is working, they have a lot on their shoulders to bear.  We ALL do.  I have friends in all 3 categories.  They deserve to be respected, encouraged and not put down for their choices. Some of the choices we've had to make have not been in our control. And it is then, when these hard working women need our support more than ever. 

It is because of the horrible remarks Roseann Barr made about Ann Romney, that prompted me to write.  Words can be hurtful, if we let them.  We choose how we react to such statements. And so far, I think Ann Romney has acted with poise, control and humility.  If anything, when people such as Roseann Barr, or Bill Maher make such comments, I think it can pull women together, instead of dividing them.  

But just in case there is anyone wondering what a day in the life of a stay at home mom consists of, let me share with you a day I had recently. Now this day will seem minimal to some, I am sure. I have friends with more children than me, more responsibilities.  But for me, it was an exhausting day. 

*  Woke up 6 a.m.... read some scriptures.
*  Did two loads of laundry
*  Took boy #1 to get pictures taken for basketball
*  Then took that same boy to his game.  
*  During half time of boy #1, left to go to boy #2 basketball game.
*  Left game to get gas, run to store to pick up a few needed items
*  Quickly came home, got boy #2 ready to leave to go fishing with cousin.
*  Took boy #2 to get a quick bite to eat, dropped him off to go fishing
*  Came home to mow both front and back yard 
*  Quickly took shower, took daughter #1 and cousin to a baptism
*  Came home, only to find out I needed to turn right around and pick up boy #2  from fishing.
*  Got boy #2, went to KFC to grab dinner.
*  Came home, quickly ate and spent the next 3 hours putting my house back together after the painters and electrician came.
*  Worked on primary music for Sunday
*  Collapsed and went to bed

And then I was told, after I said I was exhausted.... "Why? All you did was drive all day?"  I had to let that comment go, as irritating as it was to hear.
What gets me annoyed at all this in the media, are the words that are spouted, sometimes I think without thinking about them first, but the more recent examples, were very much thought out before they were said. They were meant to hurt.  But I think it can have the opposite result if we let it. I know for me, it has made me think more of my friends who with all their hearts, would love to stay at home with their children if they could, but are not able to at this time.  I admire them.  I pray for them, that they will have the strength and endurance needed to fulfill the roles they are now living.  I think also of my many friends who have fulfilled both roles of having a career and raised their children. I have no doubt they love their children.

We are all in this together, as one friend on Facebook put so eloquently. We all love our children and are trying our best to raise them.  As I look back on my exhausting day, I think of the moms who have to do it alone, or the moms who also work outside the home.  Instead of putting others down because of their life's circumstance, we ought to be joining hands together and uplifting one another.  In the end, I think the disgraceful comments uttered, can make us all stronger.


  1. Yup, I agree totally. Thanks for that.

  2. I love this Shelley. I'm often questioned for my choice to work part time outside the home and it's frustrating to have to explain myself that it makes me a better mother to have that "away" time. Sure, it probably is some kind of cop-out since staying home all day is way harder but you're right, we're all in different circumstances, make different choices, but our goal is the same - to raise these beautiful children in a world that is quickly becoming scarier by the minute - to love and nurture them and help them to find their place in this crazy world.