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Showing posts from 2011

The Christmas Eve That Shook My Faith

I originally wrote this in December, 2011. It has now been 25 years since this profound experience and I felt I needed to edit it for what life looks like today, December 23, 2022.   Sometimes our lives are defined by experiences we have gone through, and we draw upon those fragile moments in time because that is where we drew closer to God, where we learned more in that trial than in any other time in our lives.  That is what happened to me on the Eve of Christmas Eve, 1997 on a cold, bitter night at St. Louis Children's Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri. On that particular night I felt the most vulnerable in all my life. It stands to this day to have been the worst day of my life, worse than McKenna's actual passing. Let me share with you why. We arrived at St. Louis Children's Hospital December 7th, 1997.  McKenna was only about 6 weeks old.  She flew in a plane that came from St. Louis to pick her up with one doctor and I believe 2 nurses. One of the nurses that came

Any Advice On Raising Teens?

I've written a few posts earlier this year about my oldest child turning 12, him entering his last year at elementary school, and just the fact that my little children, aren't so little anymore.  But is wasn't until this past week, that it really hit me.  My 12 year old is trying to become more independent, and I kind of don't like it.   I'm realizing now that I need to wear different hats; not the just mother of preschool, elementary school age children hat, but now the hat of the mother of a pre-teen.  I am by no means the best parent out there, there are plenty other mothers scoring higher points than me... but I can honestly say I feel like the choices I've made in raising my children so far, I am comfortable with.  But now?  I'm not so sure.  I hope the way I'm raising this pre-teen of mine will prove  to be effective as he grows into a full blown teenager, and then a man.  (I should clarify right now, I am not excluding my husband

An Attitude of Gratitude

There have been a few posts/comments made lately on Facebook about how we should just take one holiday at a time, about getting through Thanksgiving before we dwell on Christmas. That somehow Thanksgiving gets over shadowed when we start to do our Christmas shopping in early November, or if we listen to Christmas music around the time we put on costumes and  infect our bodies with candy galore.  My blog post isn't going to be about defending my  joy of listening to Christmas music weeks before Thanksgiving, but rather, how if I fill my life daily with gratitude, then when the time comes for us to stuff ourselves silly with turkey, sweet potatoes and pies, we won't have to search far and wide to figure out what we're grateful for, we won't feel like this is the only time of year we really do think about the many blessings we have. I do not believe most of think that way, but I AM trying to think about my blessings on a more consistent basis, and recognize them when th

The Song Of My Heart

I could never just pick "one" song that touches my heart more than any other.  If ANYONE knows me, they know how much I love music, how much I love to sing.  I have so many "favorites" in so many different genres.  And oft times I'll hear myself saying, yet again... "This is my favorite song".  But why only have one? I have tons!   ( Excuse me while I take a blog break..... my nearly 4 year old Hailey has asked for a pedicure, and I must give in... don't want to miss out on these precious childhood years that are passing all too quickly.  Be back in a jiffy) Okay, back.  Where was I?  Oh yes... my many favorite songs.  I'm not going to bore you with the particulars of what I like and don't like.  But I will say, if you were to ride in the car with me, you'll find my radio stations tuned in to country music.  Never listened to country  music until I went away to Ricks College, in Rexburg, Idaho.  Couldn't stop listening from then o

I AM a Christian

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Religion & Politics.  Two subjects a lot of people simply don't like to bring up, or join in any conversation about.  Why is that?  Is it because so many people differ on so many different levels?  Is it because we think we may, heaven forbid, offend someone?  I feel an obligation, this very moment in time, to speak about MY religion, because there has been, currently is, and always will be, some misconceptions about the religion to which I belong, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints .  More commonly known as, Mormons.  I was raised in this church, married a Mormon , and am raising my children in the same faith, and wouldn't have it any other way.  Let me make it clear too, that Mormon, is kind of like a nick name for our church, and we are not associated in any way, shape or form with the FLDS church, or any other church that practices Polygamy.  Our church DID practice that in the 1800's, but later banned it, and if anyone in our church does practice it

"Fall"ing in love with Fall

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I sure do enjoy this time of year.  It seems as if each season brings on its own particular gratitude for the many things it produces. Yet, near the end of each season comes a sense of longing for the next and a feeling of, "I'm so ready for summer, now that the spring rain has lasted for months on end."  Each season has it's own beauty, but none compare to the magnificent colors of fall, or, autumn, as some people like to define this enchanting time of year.  These are just some of many things I love about fall. 1) The colors .  Red , yellow , orange .... the beauty that glows from the trees that hold leaves is spectacular to me.  I have never seen them more vivid as I have in the canyons of Salt Lake City.  I hear they are most beautiful back east.  But seeing as the Pacific Northwest is where I reside, there is beauty here too, and I soak it all in when it comes, for the colors don't last long, and if you're not looking, you will miss it before the leav

Where are MY miracles?

I've been sick all week, and today is Sunday.  I stayed home from church today since I didn't have much of a singing voice (I teach the children in our church, songs) and am constantly blowing my nose; thus, I felt it proper to stay home and not share my germs with others.  I decided to watch this movie I had just bought, but had yet to see.  John wanted me to wait for him to come home, but by nature, I'm impatient.  I thought it was a good movie to watch as well, being as I was home and wanted some spiritual upliftment.  The movie was 17 Miracles , by T.C. Christensen.  And wow, did that box of tissues come in handy, but this time for my eyes, not my nose. For those who are not familiar with this movie, or why it would be meaningful to those who belong to the church I attend, let me explain..... it COULD become meaningful to you too, regardless of what religion you belong to.  This movie dramatizes many events, or miracles, that happened while men, women & children f

It's been a dozen years

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Happy Birthday to my 12 year old son, Hunter.  What is awesome about a 12 year old?  Well, from his mother's eyes, let me tell you. What is a 12 year old into: *  Anything electronic.... the wii, DS, computer, (would LOVE to have an ipod touch, but mom and dad say NO.) *  Bearded Dragons..... his birthday present this year.   *  Scouts..... he's become quite the merit badge getter. *  Basketball, basketball, and basketball.  Can hardly wait for the season to start *  Trumpet.... well, maybe not so much, but that was the chosen instrument for 6th grade.  Better than drums if you ask me. Hunter is enjoying his birthday this weekend with his dad and brother in Southern, CA.  I miss them tons right now, but know they are having a good time, memories being made.  I look back on these 12 years that have zipped by, in the the blink of an eye, and hope the next 12 will slow down a bit. Somehow, I don't think that will happen. I write this blog for several purposes, one be

If time would Just STOP for a moment, I'd appreciate it

Long title, I know, but it's exactly how I feel.  The older we get, time seems to pass us by more quickly. And with that, the growing up of my children seems to pass by me at 75 miles an hour when I'm moving along at 55, or, some days it seems like I'm going 30.  Yet they never slow down, keeping up the pace with the rest of the world as I sit along the sidelines hoping I can keep up with them.   It's a losing battle, I've decided.  I might as well enjoy the ride while it lasts, right?   Hunter turns 12 next Friday.  It's a monumental birthday in our family.  And I won't even be with him to celebrate it.  He will be in California with his dad and brother, attending their cousin's wedding, ON is birthday.  Poor guy.  I feel badly that he'll be spending his day watching a bride and groom eat their cake smothered in frosting which he detests, while he'll have to wait to come home to have his frostingless cake to enjoy.  (But, his dad was going, an

Grateful Monday ( which really was Sunday)

I'm a day late for my grateful Sunday post, but wanted to make sure I recorded, in conjunction with that special day, my gratitude for the many blessings which I enjoy. Yesterday was 9/11.  We all know what that means. Just to say those two numbers, images automatically pop into my head of what that day represented 10 years ago. I can't believe it's been that long, yet the memories are so very fresh as if it were just yesterday.  So at this particular time when we pause to reflect on how our nation changed, how WE may have changed, I am reminded of all the things I feel an immense amount of gratitude for. *  I am grateful first and foremost for a loving God, who, some may say, 'Where was He when this all happened' yet I feel, as I know many do, He had never been more present than at that time. *  I am grateful for my family who surround me each day and remind me how fleeting time can be, and how, because of those events on that tragic day, make me more apprecia

I Hope They Remember

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Three of my children start school tomorrow.... a 2nd, 4th & 6th grader.  I always have mixed emotions when the new school year comes around.  I miss the wonderful summer days, where we can be lazy, play in the park on the very few sunny days we have, maybe go on a vacation and explore the states, and stay up late watching movies. I love having more time with them during the day.  But when September rolls around, I get sad, because I will miss those days, but at the same time, I know they are ready for routine, as much as I am too.  I am very much a routine kind of gal. I like my schedule, and I like my kids to BE on a schedule. But most of all, as this new school year begins, I hope my kids remember a few things. I hope they remember how much I love them, as they leave for the bus each day, and how I pray for them and their safety, for their ability to understand their studies, and that I pray they will be able to make friends and be an example to others. I hope they remember

Grateful Sunday

I've decided to dedicate Sundays to "Grateful Sunday" for blog posts.  I most likely won't do it every week. I'm sure many of you don't want to be bothered by it as well.  But I love Sundays for a variety of reasons, and figured a productive use of my time would be to express my gratitude for the day's happenings.  So let's go..... 1) I am grateful I remembered to take the detour to church today, as a particular road/bridge is closed for a little while.   2) I am grateful I made it through two hours of singing time with the children at church. I was exhausted, sweating and relieved it was done. 3)  I am grateful I attempted cooking my roast in a different fashion.... it is not done yet, but does look promising.  We shall see, the biggest critics have yet to taste. 4)  I am grateful my husband does genealogy... we may have found some long lost 2nd cousins today!! 5)  I am grateful the hurricane back east is subsiding... I know that doesn't make it

I Am Pro Choice

Nope. This isn't a pro life/pro choice blog post. Sorry to disappoint those who clicked on my link hoping for  a good read and perhaps debate on this social/moral issue. I do enjoy talking politics, but not for now.  I've had a lot on my mind lately about choices, and how we are in control of them, the one's we make.   I came across an awesome quote the other day via facebook...... "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." - Unknown.   I liked it so much, I posted it and shared it too.  As much as I love this quote, I kind of disagree with it, to some degree.  And I've gone back and forth in my mind whether or not what I'm reasoning in my head is right, or at least, right to me. After McKenna (my first born baby) died at nearly 4 months of age, I would often be told, "Oh you are sooo strong Shelley, I don't know how you could ever deal with that, I just couldn't do it."  My response to them al

Write it down, for Heaven's sake!

My children are growing up too darn fast for me, right before my eyes.  I don't like it, never have.  This morning, at 4:45 a.m. John and I dropped our oldest son off to venture to Boy Scout camp.  He will be gone for 6 days.  As I sat in the van while John and Hunter gathered around the circle of boys at The Home Depot (where they all met before they left) I got a lump in my throat because of the reality of what hit me.  My son is growing up.  There's nothing I can do about it, and I had better get used to it.  Except that I don't want to get used to it. I keep telling my children to stop growing, but they simply won't listen to me.  They just laugh, and think I'm silly. As we drove away from the parking lot, where I have left my boy in the hands of well trained leaders, I say a little prayer in my heart for Hunter that he will be okay, that he will pray when he needs help, that he'll be a good example, remember who he is, and to be respectful to his leaders.

Jaycee Dugard & Elizabeth Smart..... Two Women To Look Up To

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When I think of these two names, I think of stalwart women who, though they have encountered experiences we will never fully understand or comprehend, have proven that what happened to them won't shatter them. I stopped short of saying...' haven't defined them' but perhaps, in some way, maybe it has. I do not remember hearing about the kidnapping of Jaycee Dugard June 10, 1991 in South Lake Tahoe, CA, although I'm sure I did at some point see it on TV.  But it wasn't until she was found August 25th, 2009 that I (re)learned about her story.  Just recently, she gave her first interview with Diane Sawyer about her horrific experience for those 18 years.  I was captivated watching the interview.  I do remember more clearly the kidnapping of Elizabeth Smart, June 5. 2002, who was later found March 12, 2003.  I will never forget this picture of her that was plastered all over the television. Just recently, Elizabeth testified in the case against her kidnappers,

No "Mother of the Year Award" for Me!

I will probably go down as the meanest mom around, if you ask my kids. (At least right now anyway).  Has anyone ever had the problem I am having, with kids not putting their toys away after playing? Granted, our situation is a little unique right now... my girls, nearly 7 and 3 1/2 are living in their playroom right now, sleeping on couches, and using the laundry room to house their dressers as well as their "changing" room.  My. house. is. a. disaster.!  My boys are living in our enclosed deck, which is also used as a "catch all" room for remodeling and our freezer is in there too.  We are in the middle (have been for 4 years) of a remodel, hence, the kids have been demoted to other rooms in the house while their rooms are being gutted and put back together.  I feel sorry for them, it's not their fault they have been uprooted to other, not so enticing, square footage. HOWEVER..... I have had the hardest time getting some of the brood to pick up after themselv

Brain Surgery 1 year later

It's been one year since we found out the results from John's MRI that was performed July 2, 2010.  He'd been having headaches non stop, 24/7 for about 6 weeks prior, when his doctor felt that an MRI was necessary to see if there was something going on in that brain of his that we should be aware of.  I remember where I was, the day when John called me after his doctor told him what they found. He called me on the phone, I was home with 1/2 the kids, he had the other 1/2, at the 4th of July breakfast and flag raising put on by our church. John:  Well, I got the results back from the MRI. Me:  And??? John:  They found something. Me: (My immediate response) Is it cancer? John: No, but there's something there. I'll tell you when I get home. Me:  Okay, bye. My first thought?   Relief that it wasn't cancer. My second thought? What the heck is it, and does 'whatever it is' need to be removed?  I honestly can't remember the details of when he did com